This last week a good friend of mine asked to go out to lunch with me, said he was hating life at his job and had some other issues going on. I haven't seen him in a year or so, and haven't worked with him for five years. When I knew him best, he was an energetic and youthful individual. He was a prankster and always had a good joke, or an entertaining story -- usually involving fast cars and police. He's changed a lot. There was no more humor in his eyes, or the thrill of life. He was unhappy. He wore it like a uniform. Years ago, at one point, he asked if he could get a copy of the Book of Mormon. I happily obliged, and hoped he would read it. He came to church with his family a couple times, but soon made it clear he was going to become active in his own church. That was that. It wouldn't be the first time I've re-activated someone to their own church, and I'm not entirely disappointed by that. Most churches have a lot of good in them.
It was good to see him again, and talk with him, but he was in just about as bad a depression as I've ever seen, especially given the contrast with who he used to be. He hates his job, and he's been separated from his wife for a year, and just wants to end his marriage as soon as he can. He can't find peace and feels that he's missed his calling in life. I didn't know what to say. I love him like my own brother, but nothing I could think of, that wasn't gospel oriented, could possibly help. So, I e-mailed him after our lunch, told him I couldn't stand seeing him like this and told him I was going to offer him the one thing that meant more to me than anything in this world, that has never let me down, and has always led me to happiness. I offered him a chance to sit down with myself and the missionaries and talk about these important things. So far, he has ignored my e-mail, which I'm taking to mean he doesn't want to talk about religion.
It's very sad for me to see. I feel like I have the only thing that could possibly make any real lasting difference in his life and his families life, but for some reason he has made up his mind that whatever it is he's looking for, whatever will fulfill his needs, whatever will finally strike him as his "calling", whatever that is that he hasn't yet found, it isn't the Mormon church. So, he will go on and we will part ways once again for a few years.
Unfortunately Satan has great hold on people's hearts these days, enough to convince them that however dark it gets, the answer lies elsewhere. Nothing to see here, move along. As things become increasingly bad in this world, the better he gets at convincing them that happiness is always somewhere else. Anywhere but right in front of them, and especially not those dorky young guys in white shirts and ties.
But, I'm not giving up hope. He might still answer my e-mail with acceptance, or I might try again in awhile.
My heart goes out to him. I hope he finds happiness, but I know that only through the true and living Gospel of Jesus Christ can anyone find true and lasting happiness. Everything else is lacking, and will always leave us wanting. This much I know.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
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4 comments:
That is too bad. I hope he figures something out. I am extremely glad to have the gospel in my life. It really does give you hope in this time.
I paypaled you last night sorry it took so long. I was at a wedding for the last few days.
Sorry about your friend :( I feel a little bit like this about one of my own sons. He's choosing to marry a less active member in the city park. He has no interest in the gospel-and it breaks my heart. Playing the game of LIFE-is pretty hard!
I'm glad you are still keeping the missionary spirit in your heart. YOU can't possible go wrong sharing your testimony. As the scripture says, (Alma 31:5) "...as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just...they should try the virture of the word of God." I hope all is well. Mom
I missed that post, might have been because it was during my move- who knows. I feel for your friend, but I am proud of you for your efforts. Some day he is going to regret not listening to you.
I just watched the movie "17 again", it was pretty cute. I think the main message was a good one though, the guy was on the verge of getting a divorce because he just wasn't happy with his life and blamed it on his wife. He had the opportunity to be 17 again with his teenage kids, and realized how much he was missing out in their lives, and also how much he loved his wife and that his troubles weren't her fault. In the end they got back together.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. You must be busy with work because you haven't posted in quite a while. I hope things are going well with you and your family! I would love to see you guys if you want to make a little weekend trip out here- or maybe we could meet in the middle.
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